they told me i should hurt, so i hurt

rooftops cry out
over long distance telephone lines
they say to the world
out of their minds
i am found
and it was
the worst best miracle
that ever happened

they told me i should hurt
so i hurt
i bled
but it wasn’t for you
it wasn’t for anything
other than whatever it was for

something inside of me
just came out
or maybe
something on the outside
found its way in
through the barbed wire
of bad experience
and the chain mail
of heartbreak
it clawed its way
through the back roads
and alleyways
jumping off maps
and rushing into
dead ends
to find its way home
the place it never left

you won’t find me on any map
because
there is no map
for the places we exist
only for the places that exist around us

the only step
i have ever taken
that has taken me anywhere
is the backwards step
towards the mark inside
the spot
where my feet are firmly planted

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