i know too much about what i don’t know

we are a troubled lot
all drunk on words
but still thirsty for experience
we love you
but we still hate you
because you don’t feel
the same as we do
or at least
you don’t show it
you don’t write about it

what do you do
and for that matter
what am i doing
i mean my god
what am i doing

i don’t know

but i know too much
when i’m about to break
and i’m terrified
to realize
that there is nothing to break at all
that it is already broken
or never even fixed to begin with
when my brain and stomach
lock arms
and the inside of my eyelids
are telling me
everyone i meet
is either who i was
or who i’m going to be

after a little bit of anything
you should stop
and just breathe
for as long as you can

what you do after that is up to you


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