auto-reply notification: your prayer has been received

please do not reply to this message

this is an auto-response

and since god is all knowing

(s)he will be able to tell

if you refuse to follow these instructions

the list of messages in god’s inbox is long

and even though (s)he checks it frequently

it really can pile up

(s)he will get back to you

with any questions (s)he may have

please turn your spam blocker off

and/or add god to your safe list

if you have chosen any of god’s manifestations

as your personal savior

please forward your prayer/complaint to them directly

(i.e. jesus@therighthandofgod.com, realitytv@therealbaylon.com)

if god does reply to you

with any requests

please do not veer from the subject

of your first request

all requests are answered on an individual basis

emails will be summarily dismissed

unless the subject line clearly states

the category of your prayer/complaint

popular categories are:

guilt

fear

praise

pleasure

boredom

suffering

love

submission

liberation from this mortal coil

if you are writing about a technical issue

please forward your emails to satan@microsoft.com

http://futurowoman.deviantart.com/

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